My Simple Wish
Over the years my blog has evolved from a place to share farm updates, to a place to share stories about my daily life, recipes, and, animals, into a place where I share more of me than I ever imagined I would. As much as sometimes I've wondered about that, I realize how connected I feel with some of my favorite bloggers because they do give their readership a much more open and personal view into their lives, and, struggles. It's good and bad, and always from the heart. I do however also adore a few favorite blogs that share only animal pictures or stories, or recipes, and are less about the bloggers personally. Either way however, It's their lives you are peaking into, but only one small piece of it.
A lot of things make us up as individuals, so many things. And for a long time, until recently, my health has not been something I have spoken about in detail on the blog for many reasons. But of course over the past several months I have opened up and shared, and been in most ways quite honest about what I am dealing with. I haven't shared a lot of the more intimate details, but I have shared more than I expected to... As I've said before, I struggled with that decision, if it was right. I feel now that with my blogging, this is the type of blogger I want to be. The type who shares. Of course, not sharing everything but things that matter, and this really matters. And while I appreciate more than I can ever express the support I have received from all of you, and the love, and it's helped me through the past months a great deal, I also want people who are suffering from chronic pain and chronic illness to know, they are not alone. I have realized with this disease that so many people suffer with things that often times we cannot see by looking at them, and it requires a great deal of strength to live with these illnesses, with pain that never gets better... with Doctors who just can't seem to help, or multiple drug trials and surgeries and hopes that always seem to fade away... It takes a toll that I am very grateful not every person is required to pay in their lives. But for the people whom are required to pay it, while they might not realize it, they are a special kind of strong.
My youth has been consumed by this disease, endometriosis. I spent my entire youth recovering from surgeries and struggling with pain. Sure I've had relief at brief times, be it from surgery or medications, but not the kind of relief of being pain free, healthy, well... And it's been hard. It's not only hard on me, but hard on my husband, hard on my dreams and goals, hard on my spirits ability to shine. There is no cure, and while I have great faith that this surgery is going to give me total or a huge amount of pain relief, this will always be a part of me. It's changed me in so many ways and there have been times when I have reflected and thought that I have only been changed in negative ways. But that's not true, it's just hard to see the positive ways when you are struggling in the dark, looking for stars through cloudy skies. But just as with the stars, even when it's cloudy outside and we can't see them - they are still there, shining brightly behind those clouds. They are never gone. They never go out.
So please, every single one of you, no matter what struggle you are facing in your lives right now, be it a physical one, an emotional one, a mental one...a long term one, or temporary, don't give up. Remember that each new day is not a new day of struggle, it's a new day to be reminded that there is always hope, and you are stronger than you think in the end, no matter how weak you may feel.
That is my Birthday wish for each of you.
As Pooh said, "you are stronger than you think, and braver than you believe." How could a bear who loves honey not be right? Seriously, we all know he is in our hearts.